they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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