HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
