I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
