One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
