My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
