Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
