This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
