You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
