do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
