You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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