I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
