Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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