Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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