If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
