it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
