i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
