I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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