we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
