her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
