I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
