Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
