I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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