it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
