Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
