i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You need a sexual gate keeper
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
