Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
