I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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