I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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