I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Actions speak louder than pants.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
