The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
