Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
