I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
