i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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