Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
