Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I love having hate sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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