Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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