running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
