all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
