He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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