just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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