party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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