Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
