I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
