your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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