The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
