I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
