just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Life is so much better after having sex.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
