ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
