saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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