My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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