i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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