Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
