Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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