i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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