Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
