I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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