Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
